MY CHIC INTUITION
My Chic Intuition
This is not a podcast. It’s a frequency.
A cinematic decoding of the feminine experience through poetic storytelling, symbolic monologues, and soul-level transmissions.
Hosted by Carmen Ramos, My Chic Intuition is episodes archive disguised as content, but built as a cipher. Each title, a clue. Each episode, a mirror.
We talk presence, performance, power, and the process of unbecoming what the world projected onto us.
It’s for the women who move differently. The ones who’ve been labeled too much, too quiet, too soft, too sharp and chose to be all of it, anyway.
Listen closely.
You’re not just tuning in.
You’re decoding yourself.
MY CHIC INTUITION
Two People Felt The Same Thing And Never Said It
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The What If That Returned
SPEAKER_01Have you ever had someone come back into your life and completely change the way you remember what happened between you? Because that happened to me. And the crazy part is nothing technically happened. There was no huge breakup, no dramatic ending, nobody cheated, nobody slammed the door, we just missed each other. I met this guy when I was living in LA, and there was something immediate between us. You know, when you meet somebody and there's no awkward adjustment period, you just click. That was us. I liked him a lot. But I didn't think he liked me the way I liked him. One night I slept over and he gave me one of his shirts to sleep in. I ended up taking it home with me. Later, he reached out about getting his shirt back, and I remember thinking, damn, he really wants his shirt. Like, okay, I'll give you your shirt back. Because he wasn't coming on strong. He wasn't saying, I want to see you. He wasn't telling me how he felt. So I took him literally. Years later, I find out he did not give a damn about that shirt.
The Shirt Misread As Disinterest
SPEAKER_01The shirt was his excuse to see me again. And that's where the story gets me. Because while he thought he was finding an excuse to get around me again, I thought his behavior meant he wasn't that interested. Neither one of us said what we actually felt. Then he left LA and went back to New York. A couple months later, he met someone, life moved. They built a relationship and eventually they got engaged. So I accepted that our little LA moment was exactly that. A moment. Until he came back. And now years later, he's telling me he wonders about the same thing I privately wondered about. What if? What if we actually told each other how we felt? What if I'd known the shirt wasn't about the shirt? What if he'd stayed? What if one of us had just been a little more direct? And then he said something that really messed with my head. He told me he feels how I feel. And that's such a complicated thing to hear from somebody who's engaged. Because there's a part of me that wants to go back to that girl in LA and tell her, You weren't imagining it. He liked you too. But there's another part of me that knows we're not in LA anymore. There are other people involved now. And maybe that's the hardest part about what if sometimes you finally get the answer you wanted. After the answer can't change anything, and yes, I still wonder because I did like him. Maybe in another version of our lives, he says, forget the shirt, I just want to see you. Maybe I tell him I actually really like you. Maybe he doesn't leave, maybe we try, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. I'll never know. But I think that's what I've realized about the people who become our biggest what-ifs. Sometimes they aren't the great loves of our lives. Sometimes they're simply the stories that never got an ending. And because there was never an ending,
He Comes Back Engaged
SPEAKER_01our minds keep trying to write one. But here's the question I'm sitting with now. If someone chooses a life with somebody else, does knowing they still wonder about you actually mean anything? Or is the what if supposed to say exactly where it belongs? In another life? And I think that's the part that's been messing with me the most because now I'm replaying everything, I'm replaying LA, I'm replaying the shirt, I'm replaying the way we were together, I'm replaying all these tiny moments that I interpreted one way at the time, and now I'm realizing, oh, you liked me. I wasn't reading you correctly, and apparently you weren't reading me correctly either because I liked you too. I just wasn't going to chase something I wasn't sure wanted me. And maybe that's where timing isn't always about being in the wrong city or being at a different stage of a life. Sometimes bad timing is two people being two-guarded at the exact same time. That's it. That's all it takes. One person thinks if he wanted me, he'd say something. The other person thinks I'll find some stupid excuse to see her again, and hopefully she'll understand. Meanwhile, I'm over here like this man really loves his fucking shirt. And then life keeps moving. That's what people don't tell you. You can have this tiny misunderstanding with someone and not realize that it was a fork in the road until years later. Because he went back to New York, he met her, they got together, and I continued living my life. There wasn't some dramatic scene at the airport where I ran after him. There wasn't a phone call where one of us confessed everything. There wasn't a big romantic ending. We just went in different directions. And maybe if he'd never come back into my life, I would have remembered him as this guy who I really liked in LA who didn't like me enough. And that's probably what I would have believed forever. Except now I know that wasn't true. And there's something strangely comforting about that. And also kind of heartbreaking because what am I supposed to do with that information now? You're engaged, you have a whole life with somebody. I'm not interested in being the woman secretly waiting around for somebody else's fiance. But am I going to sit here and pretend hearing I wonder what would
When Timing Is Just Fear
SPEAKER_01have happened with us didn't affect me? No. It did because I wondered too. And I think two things can exist at the same time. I can respect the reality of what his life is today, and still acknowledge what I felt then. I don't have to rewrite history. I say I never cared just because the timing is inappropriate now. I cared, I liked him. There was something there. Apparently, we both knew it without knowing that the other person knew it. And that's sad. But here's where I've really been thinking about the about this differently. Would I actually want him now? Or do I want the opportunity we never gave ourselves back then? Because those are two very different things. Sometimes when somebody from your past comes back, you're not necessarily longing for the person standing in front of you today. You're longing for the unfinished possibility attached to them. You're remembering who you were, where you lived, how you felt, the version of your life where everything was still unwritten, and LA was that for me. So maybe when I think, what if, I'm not asking, what if I were with this engaged man today? Maybe I'm asking, what if those two people in LA had been brave enough to tell each other the truth? And that question hurts differently because there's no answer. Maybe we would have fallen madly in love. Maybe we would have lasted six months, maybe we would have driven each other absolutely insane. Maybe the fantasy only survived this long because reality never got the opportunity to ruin it. That's the thing about what if? It's perfect because it never had to become real. It never had bills, it never had arguments, it never had boring Tuesdays, it never had to survive distance or jealousy or bad moods or somebody leaving dishes in the sink. It just stayed frozen in this beautiful little moment in LA. Two people who liked each other, one borrowed shirt, and neither one saying what they actually wanted. But now I don't want another what if. That's probably the lesson I'm taking from this. If I like somebody, I want clarity. If
Loving The Possibility Not The Person
SPEAKER_01you want to see me, tell me. Tell me you want to see me. Don't ask me for your shirt because apparently I will give you the fucking shirt back and accidentally alter the course of both our lives, and I'm not doing that shit again. And maybe that's a lesson in all of this. Not every what if is meant to become a what now. Sometimes you just get to know that it was real, that you weren't imagining it, that somewhere along the way two people felt the same thing and just didn't know how to stay at the right time. And that's okay. Some stories aren't meant to be finished, they're just meant to remind you that timing really is everything. And maybe in another life, we got it right. But in this one, I'll take the lesson. And next time, if you want to see me, just say that. Don't ask me for your fucking shirt back. Thank you guys so much for listening to my chic intuition. If this episode made you think about your own what if, I want to hear about it. Until next time, remember, trust your gut to trust the timing, and always trust your cheek intuition. I'll talk to you guys next week.